Dr. Milan
Stankovic

Boundaries

By respecting my boundaries, you are helping me believe in your best intentions.

Time

Time is my most precious resource. If you are on the receiving end of my time, I hold you accountable for what you do with it.

When I clearly announce topics that I want to discuss with you in a meeting, it is not OK for you to get into that meeting and avoid those topics.

If you ask me for a document, and I take the time to have it provided to you, it is not OK for you to behave as if you have not read it.

It is OK to cancel meetings in advance, and to be a few (up to 15) minutes late.

I don’t do meetings in the morning except for the needs of people working directly with me who can book my 11 a.m. last-minute.

I value Directness and Clarity over Assumptions and Sarcasm

I value clarity of intentions, and questions that help clarify them. It is OK to ask why I want something. It is not OK to assume.

I can only believe in your best intentions if you believe in my best intentions.

Backchanneling (asking around instead of asking me) is not OK. Direct communication is respect. Because if you don’t trust me, I can’t trust you.

I know, better then you, what is best for me. It is OK to ask me what I want. It is not OK to think you know better.

Sarcasm is not OK. Too often, it is hostility disguised as humor, used to mask pain, anger, or resentment. If you want to convey such feelings to me, please do it directly or do not do it at all.

Reading

I have a reading disorder i.e. I read several times slower than an average person. Putting me in a situation to read in public can make me unconformable.

Books also represent a serious effort. If you give me any books, make sure I’ve already decided to read them, or that they are composed primarily of pictures.